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It's not cheating..it DOES bother me because he isn't sexual with me at all.When we do have sex, it's often bad and boring and he is only focused on himself.For some couples, behaviors like looking at porn or flirting on Facebook might be perfectly OK, so long as the couple has agreed that the behavior fits within the boundaries of their relationship and secrets are not being kept.Infidelity is not defined by a specific behavior; it is defined by the secrets that are kept, the lies that are told, and the damage that is done to emotional intimacy and relationship trust.To a betrayed spouse, the emotional pain associated with the loss of trust hurts far more, and the pain lasts far longer, than the hurt caused by any specific sexual or romantic act.And it is only as trust is slowly restored that the betrayed partner and the relationship start to heal.It only means that both parties wants to keep the door open as an excuse for "smaller" infidelities, because none of them are really committed to the other.

And until fidelity and relationship boundaries are adequately defined, the couple’s issues have no chance to abate.

He is even put off by me flirting with him..it's fine to look at other women on porn sites and possibly interact with some of them?

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Consider these examples: None of these individuals has had an in-the-flesh sexual encounter outside of their primary relationship, and yet all four have been accused of infidelity by their spouse.

These scenarios beg the question: A few years ago, in an attempt to answer this question, Jennifer Schneider, Charles Samenow, and I conducted a survey of women whose husbands were engaging in significant amounts of extramarital sexual activity, either online or in the real world.

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