In the past, we've interviewed several sugar babies (both men and women) as well as sugar mammas to chat about their experiences with sites like Seeking Arrangement, where men and women get paid to date, and find people willing to pay them.
Each interviewee had varying experiences with sugar dating websites, with some sugar babies ready to marry their partners, and a sugar mama considering giving her dates a "gift fund." Here, we interview a sugar daddy whose experience on Seeking Arrangement made him rethink his dating preferences – and to address his own problematic biases about women of all ages. When I dated conventionally, it always followed the same pattern: Meet a girl, get to know them, they like the vibe. I just found that as women and men age, they get more tainted by their experiences.
When I was a sophomore in high school, my best friend started dating my ex behind m back (while I was on vacation! The situation was a total mess – we got into a huge fight, I lost my best friend forever and it set the stage for a ton of fun insecurities and trust issues.
If it’s never happened to you, let me first say you’re lucky and then let me say that it absolutely sucks.
And I asked, do you ever feel like I have more power in this relationship than you do?
When there's no feeling behind it, no desire to be with someone because you have a semblance of attraction, you're just providing a service.Once, I got really ill, and I told her what was going on, and I said, hey, look we need to have a real relationship, or this isn't going to work. If you have feelings for someone else then just let me know and we’ll cut it.That should be the best part about a site like Seeking Arrangement is you shouldn't have to lie.I could just hire a hooker for an hour, it's the same thing.And it's not just about sex; if the only reason she’s spending time with me is because she’s getting paid, then it doesn’t matter if we're having sex or not, that’s not something I would undertake. Right now, with my current girlfriend, it's a little different.Then I happened to meet a friend’s sister for dinner, and the sister was 31 and we talked for 6 hours. But then it became clear to me that conventional dating wasn’t going to work. The first woman was the "upfront woman." I met her for a drink and she was very open about the fact that as long as there was some chemistry, she would meet with me and sleep with me for money. I need more of an emotional connection with someone, even though it might sound weird in that environment.I wasn't meeting younger women in the bars I went to, and when you go on a site like Bumble, you’re aren't going to find many women on there who are open to dating a 50-year-old guy. The next woman was someone I would call a "girl next door." She probably shouldn't be on the website, and she wants an emotional connection, but she needs financial assistance. After two months she said, I don't want money anymore, I just really enjoy getting to know you.I feel like an older woman is more likely to be communicative and say, "I don't want to do this anymore." What I've come to realise is that sometimes younger women don't know how to do that, especially if they're in a relationship where they need financial support because of the fear of the unknown, like, But I view the dynamic of sugar dating as a mutually powerful relationship unless the sugar baby is desperate for money, and when they’re desperate for money, that’s when it’s a power imbalance.But I don’t necessarily view sugar dating as the man has all the power, because it's just as easy for the women to walk away. The girl I’m dating now, I was eating at a restaurant outside and she walked by, dropped her phone, it broke in a million pieces and I helped her pick it up.And she ended up sitting and having a glass of wine with me.She is younger than I am, but it’s interesting — her mother is much younger than her father, so she's used to the concept. I had a conversation with my current girlfriend about the dynamic of power because I clearly make a lot more money than she does.