He acted on his feelings about 8 months ago, and she rejected him, which made me very careful in our pre-relationship stage.I spoke to my friend about how my relationship with his former crush was evolving into something bigger, and he assured me that he doesn't mind, doesn't like her anymore, and is not really in the position to say anything.Taking him at his word, I saw no reason not to move forward with our relationship when she confessed that she has feelings for me.However, now my friend is saying that his previous statements were made only out of politeness.It's a common scenario and I wouldn't hold it against him if I were you.Odds are if he was able to at least say that, then he's definitely working on moving on, which means things are looking good for you.But my girlfriend and I are maintaining a loving, caring, and healthy relationship. At some point in life you have to start thinking about your own happiness.It's not nice to your friend, but seeing as she's already rejected him, I'm not convinced he would've still had a chance even without you being around, at least not for a while longer.
You can avoid piling on, but you cannot manage it for them. However, the situation is complicated because my best friend, another junior, had a long-time crush on her. We seem to be really good together, and we make each other happy.It's nothing personal in the end, so as long as you're fair to your friend and can convince him that you're doing it for yourself and do not intend to hurt him, then hopefully he should be fair to you as well and understand your situation. Once that's out of the way, it might be best to avoid the topic with him as well, at least until he shows signs of moving on.You're still in high school, so at some point he'll start to recover as well.Being reminded of her via you getting into a relationship with her probably didn't help, but that's why I suggested trying to avoid the topic past a certain point.You found yourself in an impossible situation with conflicting goals, congratulations.I know his actions are mostly due to his emotional turmoil.I think my friend is not stable at the moment, is honestly scaring me, and I don't know what his next action will be.One final thing: You mentioned that he said "He didn't want to ruin our new-found relationship." This is important, since it shows he cares enough about you to at least try and suppress how he feels.It's not the easiest thing in the world to get over a crush at that age, and this sort of situation doesn't make it any better, hence why he wasn't completely honest with you from the get-go.