And the worst one of all 4) a guillotine, insinuating you are a criminal who should be executed because your marriage didn’t work out. The biggest thing I can tell women is that changing your name back or sticking with your married name is a personal choice and everyone is entitled to do whatever she wishes. I don’t think it is wise when people say, “But I don’t want to have a name that’s different than my kids.” Know why? So and So, you don’t have to correct a third grader and say, “I’m sorry, can you please call me Ms. For anyone who is getting divorced, make sure that your divorce decree gives you the option of changing your name back to your maiden name.
In the end, it’s about because a person can have gone through a number of dubious relationship experiences and then gone through a period of personal growth and their current and future behaviour reflects their healthier habits of thinking and behaviour.These will be self-evident – you won’t need to pull out your magnifying glass, start making things up or coming up with rationalisations. Many people have asked me for divorce advice about changing your name back after divorce. And you go on your honeymoon, and at the hotel they call you Mrs. So, now they have to get an amendment to their divorce decree which means spending more money on attorney fees and a court appearance. Most ex husbands don’t really care, in fact, I know a few who are extremely enthusiastic about having their ex go back to her dad’s name, either because they already have another Mrs. Another person might hate their ex so much, that all she wants to do is change her name back to get away from him, because she thinks it’s going to help her get over him. I feel I owe it to you to tell you, I just went through it and it was soooo not a big deal. No matter what name you have, you are you, and your initials, your signature, and what name people refer to you as makes so little difference in the big picture.We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person. It’s exciting and fun and new, and you get to buy glasses and towels with your new initials on them! They both stated that their attorneys didn’t put the option in their decrees. Find other ways to deal with your hate and your bitterness. If you do change your name back, do it for yourself. Incidentally, I know a lot of women who are still happily married who never changed their name in the first place, either because they liked it, or they wanted to remain with that name for their profession. If you just feel comfortable and this is who you were, and you wish to stay that way, than you have the right to keep it. Lastly, there are women who are just lazy about it, and don’t want to change back because they think it will take a ton of time. Let me answer it by saying, if you’re a woman, you’re born with a name, and you have that name your whole life. It’s your mom and dad’s name, and your sister’s and brother’s and some of your cousin’s names. And then one day, you get married and you change that name because you are taking your new husband’s name. I recently met two women who both told me they had been divorced for a long time (years.) Neither one changed their name back, and it wasn’t because they didn’t want to. I did it because I LOVE my name and I LOVE my father and I wanted his name back. But, I also respect those who want to keep their married name.If your interest tends to get piqued by being a ‘buffer’ to someone who is transitioning, it would be more beneficial to evaluate why this is attractive to you.You camouflaging their issues is only causing you to blend into the background of your own life.I get so many emails asking me about whether to date someone who is separated, recently divorced, or even fresh out of a breakup that I wanted to tackle this tricky subject.We’re often scared (even if nothing has actually happened yet with a particular person) that we may be letting our last chance or even best chance saloon slip away.