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If you’re dating one, you’ll get used to agreeing with her the whole time just to keep the peace. If, as is highly likely you’re not paying attention, and she says “Who does Anouk think she is wearing such tight jeans, I think they were too tight.” Don’t whatever you do, agree with her, or make a comment such as, “yes her butt looks as if it’s attempting to stage a prison break from her jeans.” This will only earn you comments such as “What!!! As Grandmaster Flash once said in the song White Lines, ‘don’t, don’t, don’t do it! Even after 10 years in the land of deep fried cuisine, I still can’t break the habit of opening doors for women.’ In most of the civilised world, holding doors open for women is considered to be chivalrous and the behaviour of a gentleman. If I’m about to walk into a cafe, and there’s a woman walking in at the same time, I’ll pause and hold the door open for her. A look that says “this guy has just escaped from mental health institution.” Holding doors open for Dutch women will earn you scorn and contempt.This is a higher interest rate than you’ll receive from any bank.Impress your Dutch lady by waving your almost full book of stamps in her face, she’ll be like krentenbollen in your hands, and hopefully not as greasy.

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Think of Homer’s Odyssey (not Simpson), Dr Richard Kimble’s quest to find the one armed man in the Fugitive, or attempting to join the SAS.

My group also helps men who were in failed relationships with the most unapproachable women in Europe.

If your heart is set on successfully dating Dutch women, I’ll tell you seven things you need to know about dating these dominant (but hotter than freshly fried frites) Amazonian warrior women.

The Shallow Man’s advice is that when you see a woman walking behind you, just let the door shut in her face. She might even and come over and say “wow you’re so well integrated with Dutch society, here’s my phone number.”In nature, a pack of wolves will pick off the weakest caribou then strike for the kill.

A similar pattern can be seen in the Dutch dating game.

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