To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with. Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task.
Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.
The first thing you should consider is the age of your children when you discuss dating with them.
If they are still very young and don’t quite understand the concept of dating or relationships, that doesn’t quite mean you’re off the hook—you just need to adjust your language to suit their level of comprehension.
Dating after divorce - even the words fill some divorced parents with dread.
An article at Healthy advises that you should be upfront with your child about why you’re seeing this new person and what they mean to you.“Tell your youngster about this man, and explain why you like him. ’ Show her that you would like her to participate in arranging this first meeting.”Making your child part of the process—but without giving them veto rule over your dating life—can help ease them into the idea that Mom or Dad has someone new, and that as the children, they’re still important. Their other parent will still be a part of their lives, and their relationship is in no way threatened by this new person.“Children who have close relationships with both biological parents are more likely to accept a new parent partner into their lives without distress,” says the article at Family Share.Now that you’ve discussed the notion of dating with your kids, it might be time for them to meet your new partner.Keep in mind that you don’t need to perform an introduction between your child and every person you date—this can be extremely confusing, especially for young children. ) Then say something like ‘I was thinking that you might like to meet John.Talking to your children about dating post-divorce can be a frank conversation, but it also needs to be sensitive.Here are a few strategies for breaking the news, and how to deal with any questions or upset feelings in the aftermath.Be sensitive to how they’re feeling about this shift, and Divorce Help for Parents cautions that there could be similarities in your situations—you can use this as a talking point.Since your teens are also likely dating, it is important to talk with them about how it may be awkward to have a parent dating at the same time.Family Share says it best: “How you approach adding a new partner into your life will affect their long-term relationship with the children. It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.So be careful, considerate and empathic in all your actions.”How did you talk about the possibility of dating post-divorce with your kids? But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person.Most middle-years children need some time to adjust to their parents' separation before their mother or father begins having new romantic interests.In general, a good guideline is about a six-month wait from the time you separate from your spouse to the time you start to date, although dating will often occur sooner.