That way, you can order a second round (she's cool) or feign exhaustion after your first Negroni (she asks if you really believe in that whole Holocaust thing).
But three weeks (and six dates) from now, you'll realize that online dating is, for better and worse, just like regular dating—and not, sadly, like ordering a pizza online. It's boring, but dating-site handles aren't eligible for the Pulitzer.
And then I started to hear it: that rote, robotic tone in my voice as I told that hysterical anecdote about the road trip to Nevada. The sheer mathematical volume was turning me into an asshole.
I started watching women and seeing patterns instead of people: Not to get all Louis C. here, but online dating is some radically underrated, the-future-is-now stuff.
You could cast a wide net and sign up for every single dating site.
Or you could follow our flowchart and find the one designed to pair you with the woman (or man, or costume-wearing sex slave) of your dreams.